Home Care in New Haven CT: 3 Ways to Respond When Your Elderly Loved One Asks for Her Parents


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3 Ways to Respond When Your Elderly Loved One Asks for Her Parents

Home Care in New Haven CT

Home Care in New Haven CTOften loved ones who have dementia or Alzheimer's will ask to speak to their parents or other loved ones that have passed away. This can be disturbing for many different reasons but it's complicated to respond. You certainly don't want to make your loved one cry every time she asks about seeing her mother, but what can you do? Here are three different responses that can help.

The Validation Approach

This type of response involves you responding with questions such as, "What do you miss about your mom?" or "What did you and your Dad do when you got to spend time together?" These types of questions take the focus off of locating the person and place it on what your loved one remembers about the person. Often your loved one may be asking for her parents simply because she misses them or because she has other unresolved feelings, such as guilt for not being able to help them more. Validation can help your loved one to be comforted simply by talking about their loved one with you, even if that's not what she initially set out to do.

The Reality-based Approach

Sometimes you may need to be more honest with your loved one, even if it seems painful. For example, if your loved one is determined to see her father because he's sick, you may need to let her know that he's not sick anymore, that he's passed away. This can help to relieve anxiety for your loved one or to remind her that her father or other loved one is no longer in pain. This is often an approach of last resort, especially if you've tried everything else and it hasn't worked for your loved one.

Distracting Your Loved One

Sometimes your loved one may just need something else to focus on. If it's possible, try taking your loved one to another room or even outside to enjoy some time in the fresh air. Try talking to your loved one about other topics, such as other family members or an activity you'll try later in the day. You may find that it's not difficult to steer the conversation in other directions.

Work with your loved one's home care providers to find the combination of responses that seems to work best for your loved one. Then you can work together to keep the responses consistent.


If you or an aging loved one are considering home care in New Haven, CT. Please contact the caring staff at SYNERGY HomeCare East Haven. Call today: (203) 691-5071.

Gordon A. Wall
Gordon A. Wall

Welcome to SYNERGY HomeCare of East Haven, CT. We are an agency that provides non-medical services such as companion care, homemaking, personal care , and respite care to individuals of all age groups. Our mission is to assist individuals to reach the maximum amount of independence they can achieve, and to improve the quality of life for those that are experiencing physical or mental disabilities. These disabilities may include, but are not limited to, stroke, Alzheimer's or other dementias, Parkinson’s disease, or cancer.

Hello, my name is Gordon Wall and I am the President and owner of SYNERGY HomeCare of East Haven, Ct. My wife and I have been in the medical field for 35 years as I am a Registered Pharmacist and my wife a Registered Nurse. Although SYNERGY HomeCare is a non-medical agency, together we have a long history of medical expertise that is beneficial in providing homecare services.

We understand the challenges, both physically and mentally, that are involved in caring for aging parents, as we have had our own personal experiences, and are aware of the demands it places on family members as they endeavor to maintain their own household/lives. We are very passionate about maintaining the integrity of the workers and the dignity of the clients. We strive to make aging and healing a beautiful part of life and realize the importance of staying in ones home to achieve this. Whatever age requires the service.....'There is no place like home'.

We specially train our caregivers/CNA's to meet the individualized needs per diagnosis. We instill in them the importance of treating each person with respect, compassion, and having empathy with their client. Each caregiver/CNA is CPR certified, they have evidence of negative TB testing, they are fully insured and a national criminal background check is performed. My wife works with each caregiver clinically before they are assigned to a client. Once assigned to a client, quality calls and visits are conducted to make sure the client/family is satisfied with the care they are receiving with their caregiver(s). There are times when a client is receiving medical care. We also can work side by side with a medical team in providing additional non-medical care.

As SYNERGY HomeCare of East Haven our service area consists of New Haven, East Haven, Branford, North Branford, Guilford, Madison, Northford, Wallingford, and Durham. Our services are not limited to providing care only in one's home, but also to those individuals who require assistance in hospitals, nursing homes, or assisted living facilities.

There is much more to be said about SYNERGY HomeCare, our CNA's, and our services. Feel free to contact our

office at 203-691-5071. Our phones are answered live 24 hours a day and 365 days a year. You can also view our website at www.synergyhomecare.com to see all that SYNERGY has to offer.

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