When You Know Dad Needs Home Care Services but Mom Refuses

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When You Know Dad Needs Home Care Services but Mom Refuses



Home Care Services in Southport, CT - One Daughter Learns: You Must Respect a Senior's Wishes Even if you Disagree

Home Care Services in Southport, CTMy mother and father were married for 62 years when my father had a heart attack. During his recovery time at the hospital, nurses and some hospital administrative staff members, along with the doctors, were talking about home care services.

They were mentioning that he was going to require proper care at home and this is going to include eating right, getting assistance out of bed and possibly to and from the bathroom, and possibly even showering. He was also going to require physical therapy to get the proper level of exercise to help in his road to recovery.

We thought that home care services was the right idea, but my mother wouldn’t see it that way. She was a traditional woman who saw it as her job to take care of her husband, regardless of his physical condition. The only problem, or one of the many problems in reality, was the fact that she was 86 years old and was considerably weak at this point in her life.

She wasn’t going to be able to help them out of bed. I and my sister worried that if she was trying to help him and lost her balance, both her and our father would take a hard fall. Either one of them could hit their head, break a bone, and make the situation far worse.

Yet my mother refused to even consider the prospect of hiring home care services. It seemed that no matter what I or my sister did or said, she wasn’t going to listen. My father was on board with having a professional caregiver come to the house, and he even tried to talk some sense into our mother, but she was steadfast in her denial of her own abilities.

That forced me and my sister to take time out of our busy schedules to stop by on alternating schedules to assist with various activities. Some of those activities were very personal for my father and I know for a fact that he was uncomfortable with the situation, but he didn’t say anything. He knew the situation, even though my mother refused to see the reality of it.

We kept talking to him and my mother about hiring in-home health care services, but she continued to refuse. I even talked to a lawyer about finding legal recourse that could get my father the support that he really needed that would also protect my mother, but aside from getting a court order, which could take several months and damage the relationship I had with my mother, there really wasn’t much we could do. All we could do was keep telling her the benefits of home care services, supporting her and my father the best we could, and hoping that one day she would come around.

If you or an aging loved one are considering home care services in Southport, CT or the surrounding areas, please contact SYNERGY HomeCare of Fairfield, CT at (203) 304-7303.

Jay Kiley
Jay Kiley

Jay Kiley has spent well over 30 years providing world class customer service to clients around the world. Whether it was during his career in banking as a senior officer with Fortune 500 companies or working with some of the wealthiest people in the world with the Superyacht Rigging Company he owned with his brother; customer service was and is first and foremost.

As the Regional Developer of SYNERGY HomeCare in Connecticut Kiley again puts the customer’s needs first. Working with the  five SYNERGY HomeCare Connecticut offices, Danbury, Bristol, Stamford, East Haven and Fairfield, which he owns with his wife ,Laurie, he has lead the SYNERGY CareTeam to tremendous growth and continued success. Knowing firsthand how health, aging and memory care issues can take a toll on a family, he is a very hands-on owner. He makes his cell phone available to all clients and their families providing more than just care, Kiley provides solutions to his client’s care needs and peace of mind to their family. 

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