I am 56 years old and for most of my adult life I have watched my younger sister, who is 52, take advantage of our parents. She has been irresponsible with her relationships and her money and it has cost my parents much of their life savings. No matter what I had said to them, even though they said they understood, they always seemed to help her out by giving her money or buying things that she needed or bailing her out of a financial crises.

Now my mother has asked my sister to be her caregiver. My sister agreed to move in with my mother to take care of her and I have mixed emotions. On the one hand, I’m going to be relieved that someone else will be in the house with my mother. I have worried about her for some time and I even talk to her about having a professional home care provider work with her.

She didn’t want to talk about that, mostly because she didn’t think it was worth the expense to incur. I tried to advise her that a home care provider would not only provide the right level support for her, but they could also help her get back out and involved in some of the activities she used to enjoy.

She didn’t believe me. I thought she believed that she was more than capable of taking care of herself, but when she told me that my sister would be moving in to take care of her, I knew she recognized the need for assistance.

On the other hand, the idea of my sister being a caregiver to anybody is just mind numbing. My sister still goes out to bars several times a week and cavorts with all sorts of people. I am concerned that she is only doing this because it is rent-free and her mother has agreed to pay her weekly for her services.

The only way that I could truly deal with the situation was to have a stern talk with my sister. I’m sure this will cause more tension between us, but I need her to know that our mother’s care has to come first, before all of her addictions and other issues. I have tried to convince my mother that this is not a good idea, but she is not listening.

Only time will tell whether I am right or if my sister is finally growing up. I am of the belief that you cannot teach an old dog new tricks. I hope my sister is going to change once she realizes that someone else’s life depends on her maturity and care. A part of me wishes that my mother had hired a professional caregiver, but I support her in anything she does.