How Can You Talk to Your Senior about Help if She’s Not Into the Idea?

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How Can You Talk to Your Senior about Help if She’s Not Into the Idea?



Your elderly family member may not be as interested in talking about help as you might be to make sure she has that help. Understanding her reasons is important, because that can help you to figure out what to do for her.

Actively Listen to Why She Doesn’t Want Help

It’s really important to listen to why your senior is against having some extra help. Active listening is going to help you to really understand what she’s saying rather than trying to overcome her arguments. With active listening, you’re focused only on what your senior is saying to you. Give her eye contact and wait for her to completely finish speaking. Rephrase what she says to you and ask if your rephrasing is accurate. If it is, then it’s time to clarify further based on what she has shared with you.

Make Sure You Both Understand What “Help” Entails

Part of what you might learn through active listening is that what you thought you were talking about is maybe not what your senior thought you were talking about. If you both have different ideas about what “help” for her means, that’s going to impact her excitement level around this idea. Clarify with her what your expectations are around bringing home care providers into the situation. Then talk about what help she really wants.

Make a List of Her Goals

One of the reasons that you might be considering help for your senior is because she has goals. Those goals may involve managing her health, keeping her safe, and even helping her to age in place. Seeing her goals on paper can help your elderly family member to see where her goals may be achievable, but not with her current setup. Knowing how home care can help her to meet her goals can also be important.

Look at Processes for Meeting Your Senior’s Goals

Something else that happens once you and your senior make a list of her goals is that you can start to look at processes and methods for breaking those goals down into smaller bits and meeting them. If she’s determined to age in place, there’s a lot that goes into meeting that goal. She’s going to need to make sure it’s safe for her to do that, she’s going to need to be able to keep up with a variety of necessary maintenance, and she’s going to need to have a plan if she can’t meet that goal.

One conversation might not be enough to convince your elderly family member that help is what she needs. She may need to mull things over or talk about it again. Be an open, loving sounding board for her.

If you or an aging loved one is considering homecare in Columbus, MT, please contact the caring staff at SYNERGY HomeCare Billings today at 406-839-2390.​​​

Shanna Tourtlotte

Shanna Tourtlotte has been the owner of SYNERGY HomeCare Billings since 2011.

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